– A Nigerian man has left the internet in a bubble of laughter with his recent post
– Sharing an experience with a couple who had waited till they were married to copulate, he urged others to do same
– The post has since gone viral on the internet.
The issue of predominant religions in Nigeria and their stand on premarital copulation has been a clearly defined one of opposition. The idea is that people should not engage in such activities until they are married. While most people find it challenging, this Nigerian man, in a rather hilarious way, might have given some people a valid reason to wait until marriage. He took to social media to narrate the experienced he had with a pastor friend who had just gotten married. According to him, they waited till their honeymoon to do the ‘deed’. Alison gave a detailed narration on Facebook: I Don’t feel too comfortable sharing this, but my big mouth will just not let me. Ummm, this is to teach somebody out there that believers ‘re not boring people, neither are we missing anything by doing things the Jesus way.
Some time ago a pastor friend of mine got married and it was awesome for me, a very special guy. Him and his bae dated for nearly 4years without s*x, no kissing, no touching, no laying of hands in dangerous places, no please-let-me-touch-it-small, I mean nothing sexual, they were both believing God through faith that they are s*xually compatible, relevant on the marriage bed.
During their honeymoon I volunteered to be their errand boy for the period of their honey, since they honeyed themselves in a fancy hotel close to where i live . I took dinner to them most nights and sometimes breakfast too in the morning, hotel food wasn’t so nice, worse is, it was crazy expensive.Okay so one morning like that I took breakfast to them as usual, as I got up to their hotel room, just when I was about to knock on the door I started to hear a hard voice coming from inside the room. The voice was sounding like “mme kpa, mme kpa, mme kpa”.
It was a woman’s voice screaming in Efik language, and in English it means “i have die, I have die, I have die.” Arrrhh ahhh! I Was like “which one is I have die? Die where? No no no bro cannot beat his wife, he is too meek to even hurt a fly, nope, i know him too well”. Slowly the voice began to rise, increasing in tempo, in curiosity I plastered by ears to the hotel door to be sure of what i was hearing;”I have die, I have die, mme mpka” was the sound playing behind the door like a confuse music Dj on the early morning grove. Quickly i rushed to the door on a rescue mission and knocked very hard, what kind of i have die is that one after a wedding, I thought it was a heart attack or something, until hmmmm, when bro finally unlocked the door it was like someone opened a bakery, the heat that embraced me nearly tore my shirt, it was crazy up in that hotel room. As I got in and observed the state of aunty, I immediately remembered where the scripture said “who God has joined together, let no man separate.” – with the stern look aunty gave me it was obvious she really wanted to die the die that she was screaming. Look guys, there is so much joy in waiting to do it right, so much peace, the best time to have s*x is with God’s divine seal of approval, inside that covenant there is no such thing as guilt, fear or judgment. There is no asking for forgiveness over any sin of touch or sin of sight, all you will just be saying is mme kpa! mme kpa!! Kill me!! I have die!!! And God will just be laughing at the two two both of you like die well, uncle kill herrrrrrrrrr!! we have enough space in heaven,. And see ehhn my dear virtuous and waiting aunties, if you know the kind of plans our faithful brothers have for you, hehehehe, you will know that you have entered it, our spirit is sooo willing to wait until the right time and our flesh has started planning ahead, all this abstinence and virtue we are displaying is just fasting, by the time we share the grace at the marriage altar and break our fast, you will know the difference between six and half a dozen. And dear uncles who are faithfully waiting with a fast, you see all this touching, kissing and hmmmm that is hungrying you to do now? Don’t worry it is you that will tire, don’t let this long long scalfs our sisters are wearing fool you, acrobatic warfare is waiting for You somewhere, by the time aunty is saying mme kpa mme kpa and has refused to kpa for almost 5 hours, You will know the difference between It is well and it is finished. . Sir just relax yourself and follow God’s lead, alright.